There is a great difference between your true self-confidence and arrogance. If you have a lot of money to compete with others, if you always show them and shout about them, knowing that others earn less then you, it’s arrogance. If you build big muscles and buy the car everyone thinks is cool, and you do it just to impress others – it is arrogance too.
You are living in an anxiety that some one will notice you low self-esteem and confidence, that is why you always are trying to prove them wrong. You are spending enormous energy and mental recourses to find the ways to show to others that you are better than they are, but deep in your soul you feel so little and tiny, that it makes you want to close all the doors and windows and hide from the world
Self-confidence is something opposite arrogance. Self-confidence - is knowing that even that I don’t have different things, I have enough potential and strength to make the impossible – possible. Confidence is the state of mind, when a person can loose absolutely everything, but still wouldn’t be broke down.
He always knows he has enough knowledge and skills, enough friends and support, enough natural resources to remake his life very fast. He does not need to spread information about how good, skilful, interesting, rich and happy he is. He just acts towards his dreams and actions - that’s what describes him.
People respect him, because he has a great respect to himself within. People want to be around him, not because he is not searching to always be around people, but he spends a lot of time for himself to develop skills that attract people. Endlessly he has something new and extraordinary to give to people. He is rather interested, than interesting; he rather listens than talks. That’s why people stick to him. Everybody needs to be heard. I could count more and more about him, but let’s find some answers – how to get such a confidence.
The clue is action. No satisfaction is possible without a fruitful action. No satisfaction within is possible either. I have already mentioned, that we mainly spend a lot of time for silly things, like thinking about others will think and say, will our parents be satisfied for what we did, will someone laugh at our actions, and will someone make cruel judgments about us.
We would rather do the thing everybody else is doing or expect us to do, not the things that would satisfy ourselves. Time runs, years go, but we spend our energy absolutely uselessly. Think about how many things you could have learned, books have read, things would create, if your mind were free from the stuff I mentioned above.
The thing to do is to list all the things you are unconfident in. Analyze why you lack the confidence in those specific fields. Is it because you are just afraid as it is something new, or because of others opinion, or because it is too expensive. Your action is to find everything about that special thing you want to do as much as can to get to know it, so it is not something new any more.
The second rule here is that what other people think is none of our business. If you want it you go for it, because it is the only way you can get it out of your head. If it is too expensive, than you have to be sure you want to pay the price for that thing. Is it really so important to you, or may be it can wait for a while. And if it means so much to you then start saving money and get it.
Sometimes people lack confidence simply because they lack the competence. The only way to overcome this problem is become competent. If you want to apply for a job, that needs some skills from you, go to special training programs and courses; buy specialized magazines and books, communicate more with people from that field. But please don’t wait for too long. Get basic or moderate skills and jump into the ocean. The only way to find all the answers is to start practicing the specific thing.
Don’t underestimate your abilities. You probably already know a lot of information about the thing you’d like to do, simply because you like it. Otherwise why would you wanna do it?
To end the article I want to tell I little joke in the theme. Old Mousses was praying all his life to God. He wanted to win the lottery. He was praying day and night. He was imagining all the time how great it would be to win this lottery. And one night God came to him in his dream and said: “Mousses you are going to win the lottery, but please wake up from your couch, go to the lottery place and buy yourself a ticket.”
The moral is understood. No dream can come true without action. No confidence can be built without action. Life is action. Life goes until our heart is in action. Follow your heart.
