There are many ways to build self-esteem like positive self-talk, developing new skills, doing the thing you like to do, working out, having good relationships, helping other people. But in this article I want to introduce you one of the most destructive and life ruining habits we have – comparison.
Comparison is the habit that holds us from having what we really want, disappoints us, makes us angry and jealous, sometimes makes us act inappropriately; leaving us broke down, hating the entire world.
The habit to compare, like most of our habits, comes from the childhood. Can you remember you parents saying: “Look at that boy/girl sitting quiet. He/she is good.” Or “Why did you get “F” at math’s, nobody in you class did”. Then your friend could tell you like “I have this new computer I can play and you don’t have any” Then our TV and press having all their charts of who is better and who is not. All mentioned above develops the habit to compare everything and everyone.
Self-esteem is not about comparison. Comparison can lift you up on a short period of time, when you feel that you are greater than someone, physically, financially or socially. But the moment someone, greater than you, appears on the horizon you are beaten down on the ground, feeling distracted and frustrated. Self-esteem is about feeling great all the time twenty four seven. It is a state of mind where you don’t need to compare anymore. You know that it is just you – unique und unrepeatable, with your own talents and thinking, with your special finger prints and your special goal to achieve on that planet.
Just think about it! What’s the point to compare yourself with someone? Every one has different values and goals, different life views and different DNA. For example if you compare yourself with Elvis Presley. I mean you want his fame, money and popularity. Do you also want crowds of aggressive fans, paparazzi, mean press article. Or may be you want to become addicted to drugs and die from overdose like Elvis did? This is just one of the sad stories of popular and rich people. Fame and money does not mean high self-esteem. Elvis had everything a man could want, but still ended up like this.
The question. How to build self-esteem? You can build you self-esteem giving more time to develop yourself spiritually and finding out who you really are, and what do you want to accomplish during your life. Where do you want to contribute yourself? And here is the clue. All the time you spend talking about others, comparing yourself to others, judging and gossiping; you can spend reading motivational book, learning some foreign language, learning music, doing volunteer work, doing some work to reach you goals, developing physically and doing all other stuff you like. Talking bad about others and gossiping, comparing yourself, trying to look better that other takes so much time and energy that none of it is left to do the thing I just mentioned.
Think about it! No one can be compared to you, and there is also no one you can compare yourself to. You are one of a kind, exclusive and perfect. You just have to realize you special purpose and try to live for it. Have 100% pleasure of the things you do and life you live. Don’t spend you valuable time on comparing yourself to others cause there is so much for you to accomplish. So start building you self-esteem right now and always remember –you are one of a kind.
